


Love Me, Father

by WorkInProgress84



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Confessional Sex, Dry Humping, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Priest Kink, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:33:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24506956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorkInProgress84/pseuds/WorkInProgress84
Summary: Merlin's faith has been tested by the young Pendagron for so long, today is just another day. Or so he thinks.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	Love Me, Father

**Author's Note:**

> So, I guess I'm for sure going to Hell now.  
> FYI, this author has never seen the inside of a confessional and isn't exactly well-versed in all things church-y, so everything may be wildly inaccurate in that sense.  
> Arthur's underage here, though he is above the age of consent, but I tagged it mildly dubious to be on the safer side.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."

Merlin sighs, as discreet as possible, and closes his eyes against the now familiar wave of longing. They might be separated by a sturdy wooden door, but Merlin swears he can feel Arthur Pendagron's skin on his fingertips. 

They've touched before, a fleeting brush of flesh against flesh during communion, a firm, impersonal handshake on the church's steps. Every time, Merlin evaded Arthur's gaze, too flustered to withstand the intensity in the bright blue eyes. _I see you_ , they seemed to say.

"Father?" the voice comes again. "Merlin?"

"Yes!" he replies, a bit too loud for a confessional.

That's what Arthur does to him, though, isn't it? He makes Merlin forget his ecclesiastic manners, makes him doubt whether he is on the right path anymore for the first time since priesthood chose him. Things were so clear then...

"Are you all right?" Arthur asks.

"Yes," he replies, short. "How can I help, my son?"

" _Stop_ calling me that."

"Confession's supposed to be anonymous," he points out. It's also a reminder that their relationship is one that can't change, regardless of Arthur's smiles and his carefully concealed kindness.

"But you know it's me."

Merlin sighs. This boy is such a pain. A wonderful, gorgeous pain. "How can I help you, then? Are you here to confess?"

"I am."

Now that is a surprise: so far Arthur has refused the offer despite Merlin's hints that a young man like him might need it. Arthur usually rolls his eyes at Merlin and then spends the rest of their interaction staring at Merlin's lips like he's under a spell.

"Alright. I'm listening, my s- I'm listening."

"I've been having… impure thoughts."

An unwelcome yet unsurprising shiver travels down Merlin's spine and his mouth abruptly goes dry. He does his best to squash the feeling and keep up with the confession.

"That's quite common in younger people, nothing to wor-"

"About you."

Merlin's fairly sure Arthur hears him try to swallow the desert in his throat. Celibacy is the most difficult thing about priesthood, and as of late Merlin's own impure thoughts have come back with a vengeance. He clenches his jaw against the bolt of lust that slashes through him.

"My son-" he deliberately bites out.

He jumps when Arthur slams a hand against the booth. He's so startled by the explosive, unexpected show of emotion that he forgets to chastise Arthur.

" _Stop_ calling me that," Arthur snaps before more words tumble from his lips, impassioned now, like a dam broke. "I know you feel it, too. I want you. I've never felt like this. The pull, it's- so strong, I can't escape it, like it's wrong - like _I'm_ wrong - when I'm not with you."

Merlin's spine is melting. Only his faith has ever transcended him so. Arthur awoke things in him he'd forgotten existed. Things he is now helpless to smother. 

"Arthur," he whispers and then stops, not even knowing where he wants to take that sentence.

He should absolutely use it to deny the pull Arthur's talking about; it's the right thing to do. After all, he is so young, he's got his future ahead of him, and Merlin- Merlin _can't_ want that, can't want _him_.

" _Tell me_ ," Arthur all but begs, and Merlin could swear he's closer than before, his voice slightly breathless. "Merlin."

"No." The single word rips something inside of him and he looks down, for surely his ribcage must be wide open for his heart to hurt so, but there's only his robes and the cross he always wears, dangling above his heart like it's taunting him.

Arthur seems shocked into silence so Merlin takes advantage and bursts out of the confessional. Arthur is hot on his heels, though. It's the first time Merlin's happy so few people come to church anymore. He instantly feels guilty for thinking it, but that feeling is nothing compared to the headiness he feels when Arthur's hand closes around his wrist, warm and sure.

"Wait, Merlin."

"Arthur, that is highly inappropriate-" he starts, his eyes darting around to make sure nobody's come in for mass yet. The church seems empty, but there are so many nooks and crannies in this place, he can't be sure they're alone.

"Tell me. Tell me you don't feel it," Arthur whispers.

Merlin opens his mouth to do just that, tell Arthur exactly how delusional he is and then- then he looks up.

He looks up into the most beautiful face he's ever seen, bathed in the coloured light from the stained-glass windows, except the angelic features are twisted with such anguish that a wave of fierce protectiveness sweeps all of Merlin's words away. The muscles in his arms seize like they want to wrap around Arthur's frame. He can't deny Arthur's assessment now.

He's right. Of course he's right.

He's felt that pull from the moment he locked eyes with Arthur. Almost like he'd been- found, like he was complete at last. The momentous realisation had floored him. Arthur's eyes had reflected the same connection, like his soul had recognised Merlin's. Except a higher power had already claimed Merlin's soul; it wasn't something he could just go back on. 

So Merlin had accepted Arthur like he would any other new parishioner, never losing sight of the challenge the young man posed with his blue eyes and the way his fair hair fell over them sometimes. Temptation made man. 

"You do," Arthur says on an exhale, his eyes filling up with relieved tears. But as he takes a step closer, a hopeful smile on his lips, Merlin takes a step back. Arthur frowns. "Merlin-"

"We can't. You know we can't, I'm-"

"Mine. You're mine. I want you so much, you have no idea; I can't sleep because I think about you all the time, I'm going mental."

"My life," Merlin chokes on his words, has to start again. "My life isn't mine to dispose of. Look around you, Arthur. This is me, this is where I belong. You need to let go of this… infatuation. You're so young. It'll pass, in time."

Arthur looks horrified, like Merlin's betrayed him. It breaks Merlin's heart all over again. The morning light seems to have lost its hopeful promise, dull colours playing off of Arthur's devastated face.

" _No_. No, come on, you don't mean that." He lets go of Merlin to grab fistfuls of his blonde hair. He looks so lost, Merlin wants nothing more than to hug him.

Perhaps Arthur sees it on his face, perhaps he was ready to do something rash anyway, but before he knows it, Merlin finds himself backed against a stone pillar. The cold immediately seeps through Merlin's clothes and wakes him up.

 _What are you doing?_ is what Merlin means to say, but his heart is racing so fast in his chest that he can't get the words out.

"Please." Arthur's beseeching eyes are serious, melting Merlin's resolve. "Please, Merlin, just once, just let me-"

"Arthur-"

He should, he must push Arthur away. He's just a confused boy, he'll find someone who loves him just as intensely as he thinks he loves Merlin right now. The very thought makes Merlin want to retch.

Arthur's much stronger than him, though, and his body is plastered all along Merlin's- and that's when Merlin realises he has no intention of pushing Arthur away.

He waits him out, until he's close enough that he can't see anything but the blue of Arthur's eyes, and then nothing because Arthur closes them and presses his lips to Merlin's, impossibly gentle. Reverent.

Merlin’s kissed people, in another life. None of them ever felt like Arthur. It's nothing, just a press of chapped lips against his; it changes Merlin's entire universe.

It's only when Arthur makes a tiny, aborted sound in the back of his throat, an uncertain, anguished little thing, that Merlin snaps out of his epiphany. He pushes back against Arthur's mouth, hands finally sinking into wheat-coloured hair. The pleased noise Arthur makes as Merlin grabs a fistful of it to pull him closer fuels his fire. He devours him. The passion that pours out of him is irrepressible, winding around them like a tangible thing. 

Arthur pulls back for air first, and Merlin's head thuds on the pillar behind him. The whole world is spinning, maybe from the way it's just shifted on its axis. Arthur looks glorious, lips red and swollen and shiny with spit, blue eyes glassy and sparkling, cheeks flushed. 

Merlin tries to tame the mess he made of Arthur's hair but the teenager escapes the gesture, shaking his head like a dog instead. Merlin bites back a laugh - what a typical teenage rebellion thing to do.

He is seriously about to ravish Arthur right there when the church bells ring out, startling them both.

The fear gives Merlin some pause. They're both out of breath, looking like they've just been caught. The bell strikes ten times; no wonder there are so few people about, why is Arthur even out alone-? Arthur pushes him into the side of the confessional, stepping into Merlin's space again, like his only fear is that Merlin will change his mind, now. Merlin goes, too willingly. And then, Arthur slips a hand between them to grope Merlin through his trousers.

Merlin gasps. "Arthur."

"I love the way you say my name," he murmurs seductively, his breath a tickle in Merlin's ear. Merlin's cock twitches. He'd forgotten how that felt. "Say it again."

Something snaps inside Merlin; probably the last thread of his sanity. Either way, one second he's thinking of putting up a valiant front of resistance, the next he's hauling Arthur into the booth and pushing him against the closed door to kiss him senseless.

It's cramped and too warm and delicious, and each time his conscience attempts to call him back, Arthur's right there, battling it with a feverish kiss, nipping at his jaw with little mewling sounds, pressing his fingertips into Merlin's hips to draw him closer.

"This is-"

"-so good, Merlin, so good, please please please," Arthur whines, grinding his own erection against Merlin's thigh.

"We shouldn-"

The hinges of the church's front door whine distantly; they both freeze, breathless. The door slams, followed by a muttered string of curse words Merlin does hope will be part of that untimely churchgoer's confession this week. When footsteps approach the booth, Arthur puts a hand over Merlin's mouth, looking much more put-together than him, his eyes an unperturbed icy blue. Meanwhile, Merlin's insides are liquefying with fear, and he stops breathing altogether until the footsteps grow fainter, the intruder going further towards the altar.

 _An intruder?_ What intruder? There are no intruders in the House of God, what is Merlin even thinking? Just because he's sinning in about a dozen different ways right now-

"Stop thinking," Arthur hisses, commanding like the brat Merlin's come to know.

"What?" Whispering makes the whole thing feel even more illicit.

"I can tell you're back-pedaling in that complicated head of yours. Stop it. We want each other."

The assurance is staggering, and enough to throw Merlin off-balance. "There are people out here! Besides, Arthur, we-"

"-can," he finishes in a whisper. "We can, because it's right. You want me," he states. "And they're too far to hear us."

Arthur doesn't give Merlin the opportunity to argue, pushes him down to sit on the bench behind him and, quick as lightning, climbs onto Merlin's lap. 

He laps at Merlin's lips, little flicks of tongue that drive Merlin crazy until he opens for Arthur, helpless to do anything but obey. Moving is awkward and the darkness is stifling but it doesn't seem to deter Arthur: his hand slides on down to stroke Merlin through his trousers as he kisses him. Merlin jerks and pants, unable to do anything but hold onto Arthur.

The way he circles his hips into Merlin's and the way Merlin is holding onto Arthur's waist are enough to send them both to Hell. Merlin wishes he could say he resents it but nothing's ever felt so _right_. He doesn't recall ever being so hard either.

"I can't wait to touch you," Arthur murmurs against Merlin's temple. "Need to show you you're mine."

"Arthur," Merlin sighs, entire galaxies exploding behind his eyelids as he fights the need to arch into the caressing hand.

"Yes. We'll be so good together, don't you think? Can you feel how good we are, Father?"

Somehow, that does it: Merlin's hips snap up against Arthur's hold and he comes, thick warmth coating his underwear again and again until he is well and truly spent for the first time in years. It's uncomfortable and gross, but it's amazing and so very welcome.

When he comes back to earth, Arthur's hand is over his mouth again while he lays soft kisses all over his face and coos at him quietly, running his other hand through his sweaty hair. The confessional is going to reek of sex, now.

"Arthur," he croaks.

"Yes?" he replies, but there is such uninhibited joy in his voice, such hope, that he can't bring himself to say the right thing.

"Have you- you know?" he asks instead with a little nod downward.

"Yeah," he says simply, dropping a kiss to Merlin's mouth. "I love you."

So many feelings are still warring inside Merlin, the worst ones valiantly attacking when Arthur utters these three words, but Merlin fights them back for now and leans his forehead against Arthur's equally sweaty brow.

"I love you, too… You come with so many complications, Arthur Pendagron." He can't miss the flash of concern in his eyes and kisses away the severe line of his lips. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

**Author's Note:**

> Day 16 of the NSFW Challenge - In a public place


End file.
